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Nov. 23rd, 2008

Came out on DVD and I'm way excited about it. Definately going to by on blue ray or BR. Learned that from the guy at Hollywood video.

Today was definatelyva day. Busy at work, I under ordered so we will run out I'd things definately. I'm off tomorrow so I will clean and gather my life for sure. Or at least try to. I also need pay my bills.

Still bummed and I think I news to get my shot together before dating anyone.

I hope to keep moving forward I just wonder where I'll end up and who I'll be

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Mindayva day

There are things that I hears today that put a smile on my face. There are more things that I didn't hear which made those smiles fade away like the moring light.

I just wonder why sometimes things get squed and hardly go the way you think. I am aware of this emensly and wish I could understand more things to look past what I may or may not feel.

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an ambition

when I see photos, they are a change of pace. They can explain and let you explore life.
I want to do a lot of things.

I have been going out as much as I used to.
It is nice.
I do miss some things, but it wasnt meant to be that way.

I am definately in love with the good humor soft ice cream, plus it doesnt hurt my stomach.

There are some things that I could only hope for but you never know what is my life and well it will be. I am just enjoying it as much as I can. I should be reading and writing.

I will be reading and writing.
I need to be constructive at all times.

Knitting is definately on the list now.

boring boring

I have come to the conclusion that I will alwasys be single.
That is something I wish I didn't know.
I want to fall in love and have a relationship with an awesome girl.
Unfortunately I do not have an options right now.

Doesn't matter really.
I am definately working on myself and being a better, healthier person.
I am already under 200lbs. I want to lose another 20 or 15 by the end of the month.
I am doing push ups and sit ups. As much as possible.

I have other things to work on but I know it will be for the best.

The WHY sale starts today. Apparently it is crazy busy. I am working all mid-shifts/ closing shifts.

Next week I am planning on going to pick up my dvds. That should be enough time to pick them up. Hopefully It wont be weird. It will most likely. but whatever. I am done with that and so is she. It just surprised me how fast she was like, bye.

You win some, you lose most.

today today

The things that I have learned about myself.
I am immature.
I am disrespectfull.
I am selfish.
I am stupid.
I jump to conclusions.
I do not think.

These things I have learned were brought to my attention.
I should know this.
I know this now.
I will not let these things happen again.
I will be better.
I probably ruined something that would have been good.


It has been a long time since I posted anything on this. Why? No clue.

What has been up in my life.
Well, I went to Seattle. That was an amazing trip. I definately fell in love with that city. Perhaps a little more than Portland Oregon. They have an island with an Indian Casino. That pretty much won my heart.

I met a girl,spent some time with her, then she dumped me. end of heartbreak 3.
But I have been a shitty person, so I definately understand Karma.
No more shitty person.
At least that is what I am going to shoot for.
I am also working out. At least going to start to today, since I have lots of free time.
Sit ups, push ups, chin ups. That is all i am going to do, and then run.
Drink lots of water, no more sodas.

My job is getting busier. More time for me to work and less for the employee's which is good, but also it will be stressfull and I am not sure how this is going to work. But I know we will make it work to the best of our ability.

My book has definately taken the backseat and been frozen. I have already did some editing. But I will try to finish it by the end of the year. Or at least make it a short story of about 75 pages. I am at 30. So i need to do something for it.

My heart definately broke. Or at least is wounded pretty good.

there comes a time

today I was awaken by the sound of my phone.
For once, I was able to hear the alarm. The past month, I have slept through it.
I am just pleased that I am back to hearing it.

Today, was a long day.
Not for work, which went by more quickly then most days.
I bought a awesome bright green hoodie, and burnout paradise. Unfortunately, that is all of my fun money. So until the 4th of Feb. I will be maintaining a monk status.

I have been fed up with girls and what they constitute.
I just want to have fun and meet new people. Have people who can and will make time for me.
I have been a douche. I will not contest this, but I believe that I deserve some companionship.
For the very least, a pat on the head and smile and kiss.

I am tired.
I have been writing more in my novel. Sent out some new pages to people who have been asking for them. Hopefully the new 10 pages will hold them at bay until i can write some more.

death is a debt we must all pay

I feel more and more embedded into my life.
It is a nice feeling of growing up.
But I still feel like I am a kid and I know I will always.
I had a rough day at the ebar.
Accidents happen, the kids are rebelling, and apparently they will win.
It's ok by me. I am only there till my training is done. Then I am gone.
but i don't feel like I am being trained in anything really. Its more like advice of what to do. I get shown something once, and only once. I need hands on practice for me to be able to learn and do my job well.
i have to work on my tone and be nicer.
Which kind of sucks balls, but whatever is needed for the job.
I met a new girl this time. well there are two actually. one i am hanging around with and the other seems like i can start hanging with her.
we will see what happens.
I am having trouble picking which one i want to date. So i date both.
nothing too surreal has happened lately. but i got my first pay check and will it was 1300. so i was quite happy, i can afford to pay off all of my bills sooon!!!

The small parts out number the Big parts

What is it about the past the past that somehow always creeps up out of the blue.
I picked up my old favorite sweater from my ex girlfriend today.
It was weird.
Two years have gone by and she is now a stranger to me, and yet my heart still pumped faster then ever. I know now that those bumps are reactions to the memories and emotions I had for her once.
It is now completely over.

For some reason I always get fixations on women that will never like me back. I met a hot girl at my cousin's birthday party and well she wasn't around when I left so no number for me. But the girl is in her early 20's so she is parting hard and all the time. I feel that I am past that. Sure I like to go out, but I am more low key than anything else. Plus I figure that she was drunk and probably didn't mean to tell my cousin that she thought I was hot. Or maybe she really does, and we will cross paths again. Who knows.
I like the girl in SD but she has her own thoughts and they do not parallel my own. So that could never work based on those facts alone. But i like her.
I can't seem to settle down these days.
But I am becoming more and more of an adult and I am hating myself for it.
I know that I will never completely be an adult, but fuck time is passing and I feel it.

I am a M.I.T., manager in training. I am a little scared since that is slowly becoming my career. I am working on my writing but that is slowing more with all the going out I have been doing. So things are going to change. More time at home honing on my craft and stories. I need to pay off my bills so I can move out.

I fell in Love with South Pasadena.Its like a miniture Portland. If I can't afford Portland, it is definately a substitute.

Not sure what else to really put so I think I will bid this adeiu.